Annoying Fake-tan-fake-coach-bag-girl

Alright chick who sits in the back of my American Lit class. We have a problem. See, this class were in... the rest of us are learning things even if you're not.

This morning before class you were completely silent, texting or whatever it is that normal girls do, but then as SOON as the teacher started talking, you did too. To this girl sitting next to you. And it wasn't about anything about the class, no it wasn't even anything important.

It was about if you knew her or not.

Now, first of all, couldn't you have done that before he started talking? Or maybe if the girl had just sat down and you didn't have the opportunity to before, couldn't you wait 'til the end of class? Apparently not. You were just going on and on about what high school she went to and whether or not she knew someone who had gone to your high school because you could have SWORN she was dating one of your friends or something.

How do I know all this? BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T EVEN BOTHER TO TRY TO WHISPER!! You were just rambling on and on as if Professor T wasn't even talking! And this poor girl you attacked out of no where was obviously extremely uncomfortable with what was going on. You obviously didn't notice.

You were fairly quiet for a while, or maybe it was because we were broken up into groups and I couldn't hear your word-vomit over the rest of us who were discussing relevant things about Anne Bradstreet and Edward Taylor.

But then we got into one collective group and discussed it further. And once again right as the professor began talking you immediately started discussing something with the gentleman on the other side of you. Again, not even trying to whisper. Just talking about goodness knows what and laughing by yourself because this guy you were trying to impress wasn't even paying attention to you and I'm pretty sure I saw him scootch his desk further away from your crazy self.

Maybe you realized then that you were losing him because you got desperate. I mean really desperate because (while the teacher was still talking) you began to sing. I don't even know what the heck you were singing but you did! I was in complete shock!! I almost raised my hand so I could tell you to SHUT YOUR FREAKING TRAP!!

I swear if you continue to do this in the following week I will say something. I will call you out in the middle of class and I hope I get to because it will make an amazing blog post.

There are other people in this world too and they're not all here to bend at your will. By the way? Your Coach bag is fake. That's why it was so cheap. Although if you did buy it at an expensive price and you think it is real, that's even more hilarious!! And your tan may be real, I mean it is only the beginning of September, but I'm pretty sure people don't turn orange when they sunbathe.

Drop the class or drop dead.