Hi! I'm Carley. Your average community college attendee. I graduated from high school in '08 and it's prettymuch been downhill from there. Not like I was awesome before that. I'm kind of weird... And not in that cool way where you break all the rules and get noticed for being a radical movement starter like the flappers or hippies. But weird as in how-am-I-still-even-alive weird.
It was nice in high school because all my friends were weird too. And we thought we were the first kind of weird because we wore funky eye shadow and drew on our jeans. Yeah... we were gonna shake the very foundations of private schooling by putting funky buttons on the lapels of our blazers. But now that I've been cast from the warm and comforting womb of secondary education, I find myself alone in this harsh, cold, and crowded world of college. Everyone goes to other places all across the country (and if they're cool, the world!) and suddenly the cocoon of friendship and acceptance you've built around yourself is ripped away from you and you're left shivering in an EN101 class and you realize that your parents were wrong when they thought sending you to a private high school would make you smarter.
So as I wrestle with my day to day oddities I wonder to myself... Is this normal? Do other people forget to do laundry? And eat? And still live with their parents who guilt-trip them into everything? And get acne after 16? And forget to change their calendar? And go into shock if they discover that they're the only ones cleaning a bathroom shared by 3 other sisters who are pigs and can't even take out their own disgusting trash? And feel guilty for putting their stuffed animals in a box in the closet? I'm sorry... there just isn't enough room in this 9x9 broom closet I sleep in to give you proper space.
But I think the biggest thing is that I forget to eat. I can go til about 4 in the early evening on a Saturday and say to myself "Oh... I forgot to eat today!" And by then I'm already on the metro headed to church in DC and I won't be able to eat proper food until 8 or later because the church only serves coffee cakes and such and there's no way I'm walking 2 blocks to subway by myself. I don't care if this is a nice part of the Nations Capital, I'm not getting raped by a homeless tranny with his pet pigeon. Not happening.
But oh look! The church is serving cranberry muffins! That can tide me over! So I buy one and then only eat the top part because then I'm full. Because the hungrier I get the sicker I become and the less appetizing food actually is. So by the time I get a real meal in front of me I only eat about a third of it and my boyfriend wonders what the heck is wrong with me and I say I guess I'm not really that hungry, but then at 12:30 at night I'm raiding the fridge for nacho cheese and pretzels and I wonder why I can't poop normally.
I'm glad I'm not a mother because I'd probably forget to feed my kids too... and then Social Services would be called. And oh, what would the neighbors think? Though I usually remember to feed my rabbit so maybe that's a good sign that I'm not too irresponsible and maybe one day I can make a proper life eating and pooping normally and feeding my kids healthy things like carrots and peanut butter.
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